The Unfinished Journey/Wally Bornmann/ June 24, 2026
An old friend showed up this morning.
Standin’ there makin’ mornin’ coffee and I got a tap on the shoulder.
“Surprise,” comes the sound of a familiar voice.
“Sh*t! What you doin’ here?”
“Been missin’ you ol’ pard. Thought maybe we might sit a spell, talk about things, see how you’re doin’,” he said as smooth and cool as if he’d rehearsed the words for a lifetime.
“Well, don’t be surprised if I tell you I haven’t been missin’ you,” I tell him.
He laughs and I find that old feelin’ startin’ to bubble up just below the surface of my emotions.
“Settle down,” I tell myself, “Deep breaths. I can handle this.”
I’ve known this Old Bastard long as I can remember. He’s ridden shotgun beside me most all my life.
I swear he’s the reason I’ve done way too many of the dumb things I’ve done in my life.
Him showin’ up again finds me rememberin’ sittin’ with some folks and bein’ told if I “work the work” or something like that I’d get rid of the fella.
Heard it said that my problems came from all the anger I was holdin’ inside me and if I’d just do those things they called steps things would get a whole lot better.
There were a few catchy sayings those folks had like “Fake it ‘til you make it.”
So, I worked the work and did the fakin’ best I could and I gotta tell ya now and again it worked. Thing is I always knew he hadn’t really gone away; he’d just mostly slipped back out of sight a bit.
Now, here he is tappin’ me on my shoulder and sayin’ he’s missed me.
“You always have wanted to blame everyone and everything but you, no doubt about that,” he says more than a little on the smartass side of things.
“You ever stop to think that it hasn’t been all bad? You and me I mean. Something goes sideways for you, you explode, and then it’s over. Sure, you had to patch that wall you put your fist through, but it taught you a lesson while you were thinkin’ about things,” he says.
Damn thing is I can’t argue with him on that one. In the end I realized I was an idiot. I also realized I was damn lucky I didn’t hit a two by four in that wall and bust my hand all up.
Yeah, he’s been along for the ride every time I’ve flown off the handle and started gettin’ all uppity about whatever.
He’s as old as I am. Seen everything I’ve seen. Felt all those ups and downs I’ve felt and he’s still with me.
I never gave him a name, he was always what he was for me, he was my anger.
Finally decided to name him — call him the Old Bastard.
****
Was a time when I told myself I wanted the Old Bastard gone from my life. Spent some time thinking about that through the years. Lately, whether I’m comfortable with it or not I’ve come to think he just might be worth keepin’ around.
Oh, we haven’t talked much lately. Seems it doesn’t help others or me much at all askin’ the Old Bastard to do his thing these days.
That’s why I’m tryin’ to figure out why he showed up this morning.
I’ve done my best to let go of all that stuff that gets me riled up — finally acceptin’ folks do what folks do and I ain’t gonna change them much at all.
So, why’s he here now doin’ his best to stare me down?
Thing is, I’m pretty sure I know the answer, just that I do what I always do and try my best to avoid the obvious.
Seems just now I’ve been doin’ something I do a whole lot of, think I know the past and know that I don’t know the future.
Hate to admit it, but I do dwell on it all a bit much.
That’s the sort of thing that’s always gotten me worked up inside to the point where I want to punch something.
These days, if I were to go punching walls at Casa de la TinCan I’m thinkin’ I might be puttin’ holes right through to the outside of the place.
Yeah, my palatial estate ain’t built all that sturdy.
So, I don’t go around punching things even if I think it might help.
No, I sit and stew about it all.
Probably why the Old Bastard showed up — been doin’ a whole lot of stewin’ lately.
Thing is — stewin’ don’t always mean it’s all about one thing. I boil it all down the fact is I’m the what that I’m stewin’ about most often.
****
It don’t make me proud to sit here admittin’ I can get so worked up that I want to punch things.
I hear tell there are folks out there that look down on such emotions. They claim they’re above that sort of thing. And I tell ya there ain’t no one on this green earth that ain’t above wantin’ to punch something or someone every now and again — those better than me folks just lie better is all.
Right now I’m worried I’m gonna have to call emergency services for the Old Bastard.
He’s rollin’ around on the floor and gaspin’ for air. I’m thinkin’ he might be havin’ a stroke and if you ask me about it I can tell you what my doctor told me — I know about strokes without knowin’ them if that makes sense.
Of course, they got medication for that sort of thing. They got medication for what ails the Old Bastard too — I know cause I tried it.
Anyways, here I am with the Old Bastard laughin’ himself silly and me wondering how I’m gonna shut him up. Hell, I’m wonderin’ how I can get him up off the floor.
He’s laughin’ cause he knows I want to punch somethin’ and it’s buggin’ the daylights out of me that I can’t figure out why.
That’s when I get to askin’ myself what’s gonna get better if I start punchin’ the walls or whatever?
See, that right there makes me want to punch something.
That’s the sort of day I’m havin’.
Maybe the truth is I’m not so much angry as I am frustrated though I’ve gotta admit if that’s what it is it sure feels a lot like anger.
I tellin’ myself I’m gonna figure out what’s goin’ on with me sooner or later.
For now I guess I’ll see about helpin’ the Old Bastard up.
I know he doesn’t have the answers anymore than I do, but sometimes I’ve gotta admit he helps in his own peculiar way.
“Come on son. Steady now. Catch your breath. Let’s get you up and dusted off,” I tell him.
“You should have been a standup comedian,” the Old Bastard says between gasps.
“I ain’t had so much fun in I can’t remember how long. You’re spinnin’ round like a dang yo-yo,” he laughs.
“Can’t argue with that, I do have my ups and downs. Might say I’m the ultimate yo-yo,” I agree.
“You ever gonna figure any of this out?”
“I doubt it.”
“Well, what ya gonna do about all this gettin’ angry at everyone and everything out there?”
“Think I’m comin’ to the conclusion there ain’t nothin’ I’m gonna be able to do so I might as well buy a punchin’ bag and keep it handy,” I tell him.
“Now you’re talkin’,” he says with obvious excitement.
“Maybe before that we can sit and talk a bit more about what was and all that,” I suggest.
“Ain’t gonna do you no good son. You’ve spent a whole lot of time doin’ that and what you got to show for it?”
“It’s funny when I get to thinkin’ about it all. I wanna say I’ve got more than a few good things that found their way into my life. Hell, if I think hard enough there’s likely been more than a time or two when me gettin’ damn angry ended up leadin’ to something good. Not sure what they might be, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find they’re there.”
I let that thought sink in for a moment.
Then I say to myself, “Come on you Old Bastard, let’s go get a beer.”
Until next time keep your Unfinished Journey unforgettable.
Happy trails.
The Unfinished Journey 